I'm struggling to love. To love the people who needs Jesus.

Was at the Pasar Borong near my house yesterday to do some errands. The whole place was really filthy, smelly and filled with rotten rubbish along the pathways. I seriously felt I was whisked away to some foreign land. I couldn't stand the filth. And I felt insecure being there. and it's because there's so many foreigners . Ahh..I just looked at them, and sometimes, my eyes couldn't look at them cause I was scared they would harm me. I held my bag tightly and I walked faster.
But deep inside me, I wonder why was I like this? Why was I seeing them with so much discrimination and prejudice? What would Jesus do and what have God told me? I struggled a lot when I was walking. I try to smile to them but I can't. So many questions and thoughts as I looked at the things they were selling. I struggled to understand their culture, the food that was sold at the pathways, ... I couldn't.
And God was telling me that these people needs Jesus. Their eyes are empty and lost in a foreign land. Didn't God asked to love and care for the aliens? Am I living what God has commanded me to do?

I still couldn't handle that. I am still struggling to love.