Little Wonders

It's getting harder to speak words out from my mouth.

Just would like to remain silent and let God be my listener.

Silently.

Be joyful in Hope, patient in Affliction, faithful in Prayer. 

"What is your ambition when you grow up?" 

"erm..I want to be a pastor!!"

"I want to be a scientist!"

"I want to be an automobile engineer" (woah)

"I want to be bomba!"

"When I grow up, I want to be a police man!"

"I want to be a chef" 

Spending time with these kids today brought me back to the time when I was young like them ( not like I am so old pun) and dreamed big in life. Well, it's so good to see these innocent and pure joy in these kids and how they aspire to be someone great in the future. I asked myself, " what happened to the me last time? I also dreamed big and wanted to be a scientist too. And seeing how ambitious they were, I wouldn't dare to discourage them. I realized how as I grew older, my dreams gets smaller and smaller. And well, it's not because the dream just disappeared but because as I grew, I saw that everything isn't as easy or simple as 1+1. And getting an A for Science in Standard 3 is nothing. But I was encouraged to see these little ones DARING to dream big despite their challenges in life. They didn't have complete love from their home and family but they are hoping that one day, they are able to change their lives around. 

I have learned a lot from them. The way they face difficulties and taught me to have hope again for the future. It's not easy. but one thing that we shared is our Big Father. 

PS: I met one girl, Anita who is just 9 years old that she can cook and take care of her sick mother. I asked what can she cook? and she can cook curry chicken!!! like "WHAT!?" I don't even know how to chop that chicken.  

Anyway, this is what happened today at Crystal Home, Penang. 

Adversaries will make you stronger. 

Things that the world doesn't know before.

even the me doesn't know. 

Sometimes I wonder, who is this person.

Hmm.

Changed? 

hm. (so you know that, even though I enter uni, I might have forgotten every single things - how sad.) 

So, I went to BE today, and the topic is about Discovering God by Ps. Stefan Khoo. It was like going through a discovery channel and I felt intrigued by the way he explains human thoughts and curiosity to know this God. He shared that deep deep inside every human being, there is a knowledge that God exists but human being human, we tend to live in denial of this God, and later deviate from it. At the end, human don't really know who this God is. As he was sharing, Ps Stefan also shared about God can choose to whom he want to reveal himself too. Well, this caught me thinking whether why God choose to reveal to certain people and why not to the whole world? isn't it easier? 

This question is still not answered but my most comforting answer that I got is that God has revealed himself to everyone, probably not directly but through his creations-the sun, the stars, creatures etc. but it's human's choice whether we allow God to reveal himself even more. When people choose to know more about this God, he will reveal even deeper things about Him and his Kingdom. =) This thought has been playing in my mind, as I was wondering, hm. how about those people whom missionaries haven't been to, to share the gospel to them? What if their physical ears haven't heard about the gospel, and died? Will they die not knowing anything at all? 

Another thing that I have learned from the session is how self-centered human being is. The bible is a collection of stories, praises and knowledge about God. Everything should be about HIM!! However, we often try to use God's words to relate to our problems and try so hard to grasp what God wants to speak to us regarding our problem or situation. I often is guilty of this. And when we didn't read anything that 'pops' out to us, then we say that God never speak to me..so, I need to learn to read the Bible as a discovery time to know the God that I worship and be immersed in His greatness and beauty. 

hehe.

that's all.

it's raining outside now. a good time to stay indoor. 

=)

I will kneel in the dust
at the foot of the cross,
where mercy paid for me.
Where the wrath I deserve,
it is gone, it has passed.
Your blood has hidden me.

-Mercy, Matt Redman 

Couldn't comprehend this God who is willing to die on the cross for a sinner like me. How ? how? Am I worthy to get that? 

I realize that discipleship is one area that I would like to improve. There's this inner fear within me whenever I want to teach people about the Word. Probably is because of my lack of knowledge in God's words. and I pray that I will be equipped in His Word.But so far, I have not been really doing that. 

God, help me. 

=) 

"Eudurance is not just the ability to endure hard things but to turn it into glory" - Anonymous 

I was given the privilege to share my testimony in church last week. Well, it was nearly one year ago that I was also given the platform to share. And when I was preparing for my sharing, it dawned unto me, isn't it good to testify about God's goodness in my life and see how much He has taught me and strengthened me within this one year? 

Yea! I felt good to share, and was encouraged as well. I feel that it is so important to note down the small little growths within you. Yeah, sometimes we feel like we aren't growing spiritually or as a human but look closely, and there's small little celebrations of growth that you didn't realize. I sometimes fail and slack back again and again but every failures will teach us even more and that is what thrusts us to greater maturity. 

=)

Faith. 

Martin Luther King said faith is taking the first step when you couldn't see the end of the staircase. 

Jesus says faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 

I think it was a season of faith for me these past few months. During my working-holidays in Singapore, God challenged me to continue to trust in His strength and providence. He spoke to me through books and sharing. It was difficult sometimes and questions about God suddenly pops out randomly from my head. "Is God really true?" "Is God listening to me?" All this comes from the people that I met, and their background situation. I went to this camp where the Camp Coordinator's father suddenly passed away during the camp. I was wondering "Why God want to do this to this person who have served Him so faithfully and worked so hard to make this camp successful for nearly 1 year?" And I was probably a little angry with God. But I was reading this book by Philip Yancey about Disappointment with God. and what I read gives me a different perspective about God's disappointments. God is even more disappointed in his creations, and we can see throughout the Bible that He intended us to love him more but obviously we did the other way round. =( 

 Can you feel God's disappointments? 

I will write more soon..

time to off here first. !! 

haha

Smile, because Jesus is the reason we are to do that. =D 

Will I be able to finish it well? 

Leaving footprints or dust? 

God has been dealing a lot of issues in my heart these days. 

and some are still there. 

There is still reluctance in me to go but I want to grow. so how? 

I know that I am still staying in my comfort place, it is where I won't be growing at all.

still thinking.

still stubborn. 

But still, thankful for His grace that enables me daily.