sometimes, I just don't understand it.
but I will just follow and try to obey them. Maybe they know what is best for me.
But it is just hard.
I will let my excitement go this time. Again. Let them decide.
I will just be the good child and follow.

God,
help me. forgive me for every anger I have caused. I am sorry for not obeying them. Heal any wounds and hurts. I love them so so much. I am disappointed at myself.

The tears I shed is not because of them, but the disappointment in me, myself. I am trying very hard. But it seems like I have failed even more.

sigh...