Little Wonders

Sometimes I wished someone to be stronger than me.
And I hope that it is you.


can?

If you would ask me, what played a big part in my life in uni, my answer would definitely be PKA. My coursemates, my friends could identify PKA in me. lol. After 2 Sidangs in excoship, I can say that it's time to pass on the baton to the next batch of leaders!!! (oh no, so old la me! =(

Honestly, it's quite hard to just let go and leave everything that has been my lifestyle: going for late night meetings, going wonky with the excos, etc. It been a good ride but I think I am ready for the next phase of my uni life. I am excited to where God wants me to serve Him in. so yea, it's all good!

I still remember the moment my ex-president passed me the letter to be VP. It was one of the scariest moments in my life. To take or not to take? to obey or not to obey? can I do it? I remember how I cried so much during my church camp, asking assurance from God about taking the challenge. Of course, if you look at me, how can I lead? but yea, I believe God has His purpose in putting me as the VP. And I decided to take on the role, knowing that my God is with me and He will never leave me alone in leading this CF.

Finally, I can look back at that moment and testify about His goodness in my life. It was a journey that I will never forget. It was some priceless lessons that I need to bring along with me where ever I go. This position teaches me to always look towards Him, turning our eyes on Jesus. It teaches me obedience and loving others above myself. You need to come out of your comfort zones and reach out. I also learn how God works in the lives of different people, how He ran with us through the crazy moments and how He faithfully being with us in making difficult decisions. I saw how He took care of PKA no matter how hard it is. oh, so much!

Anyway, it is time to look forward to the future and another challenge will come. I need to test and see my response towards people when I am not in a position. yea. It is time to not only extend my hands to only PKA-ians but also to reach out to people out there like my coursemates. It has been good, rough and rocky road..and I have been through it with God's hands guiding me. The next batch of excos, gambateh!!

"Our God is always fighting for us."

I will forever miss the memories.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13.

The first time that I read this was when I visited the Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne a few years back. It struck me that time, and it stayed with me, because during certain hours of the day, the sun will shine through a stone crafted with these words on it, in remembrance of wartime soldiers and the sun ray will shine on the word Love for a few minutes before it fades away. This is on Remembrance Day and I managed to watch that awesome moment when everyone spend a minute of silence.How cool is that? It is not only cool, just for that sake but literally, it moves your heart to know that there are 'friends' are is willing to lay their live in order for me to live.


I just watched Lone Survivor. A story of how four brave soldiers who fought the Taliban in the terrains of Afghan. I can't help but it just struck me so so deeply, the bond and love between these 4 soldiers. I saw the realness of this verse. There was this time when they were attacked quite badly by the Taliban, and they jumped off the cliff but one of the guys was shot and didn't managed to jump off and was surrounded by the enemies. But one of the soldiers (who is badly wounded too) said that "I need to get Danny". Wow, if it is me, going back up and having the face the enemies, just to save my friend, that will be the last thing to do! How on earth that you are so so badly wounded, blood oozing out from your legs and still, thinking of saving your friend? no no, I can't.

There's also this scene when one of the Afghan tribe saved the only survivor from the Taliban. They call themselves Pashtun and practices the Pashtunwali. It is a unwritten code of honor to protect their guests regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, etc...at all cost. At all cost, meaning that they are willing to die for their visitor! What?!
And it struck me that, how crazy are these people who is willing to protect at all cost a stranger who suddenly comes into your village to seek refuge? How could it be that love goes to that extend? I can't, and it is a struggle within me. Love doesn't only need patience and kindness but it also requires lots of courage. hm.

Well, I know that there's this man who came to die for me. No matter what it takes in order for me to live. And he is Jesus.

Ahh~~ just how undeserving am I to be loved like that? And how do you actually repay this love that surpasses all understanding ?

gosh, I can't.

Have you been drinking milk all these while?

I have been a Christian for about more than 10 years. Considered quite old already and was just wondering how much have I grown in the Lord? Am I still consuming milk from the bottle like a baby?
I need to start eating meat and grow and it's indeed a slow process but just like babies, they will want naturally to start eating solid food and stop drinking milk for the rest of their lives.

It is not good enough if we depend on the teachings of the preacher of Sundays or rely on others to teach you. But get your source of knowledge, wisdom, and everything else directly from God. He is the best teacher who knows you in and out, your situations, your struggles...

Your scuba tank need to be filled by God's breathe. not on the  world's wisdom.

You know when you are walking in a park alone and you looked back and wondered how long have you been walking?
hm. I loved walking and walking. Most of the time, alone and by myself. I like to think and look at things around me. Sometimes just felt so comfortable to be able to just listen to the voices in my head and seeing the things that God wants to tell me, through the happenings around me.
But I realized that sometimes, I walked without any direction and I will be clueless where I wanna go and end up that I spend such a long time walking and walking. In the end, my body will be physically tired and all I want to do is just rest.

That is what I think happened to me last year. Thinking back, no, I don't want to repeat the same thing. There need to be a direction to go and I want to walk into God's path that he has prepared for me. Maybe sometimes I will tend to go toward my ways which I think is right at that moment and it may seem exciting but, if it tires me physically and mentally, then I need to stop at the point and think. Stop walking aimlessly!
(the phelg me)

I believe that this year will be a new beginning to greater things that He has install for me. But, one thing is obedience. Without obedience, I guess that I will not be able to experience His promises fully. I know that God is so faithful in listening to my prayer but it's my own fear that says, "no, Alie. you are not good enough'. I really really need to get rid of that self. =(

Well, it brings such a pain in my brain when I am so in a dilemma to come out from my comfort zone. It's so scary!! and I end up going to bed so that I don't have to think about it or I will push it to somebody else.
Great. 'Alie, don't do this.Come on!! '

more construction need to be done in me. God, please help me.