- Friday, November 08, 2013
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Silence is golden?
- Sunday, November 03, 2013
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I wonder whether are relationships meant to be like this?
to let go but not letting go?
to breathe but not too much?
it's hard.
both need to give and take
Give love
Take love
Give time
Take time
Give thoughts
Take thoughts
Give words
Take words
Give heart
Take heart
both need to learn from one another
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
-Passenger
- Wednesday, October 30, 2013
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sometimes it is tiring and wonder whether what I am doing is good enough. I always have to think whether if I spend time by myself and not thinking about other people and not catching up with people, am I being too selfish?
It has taken a toll on me and this previous week was too much of people around me that I decided to go on an alone trip to the mall. Just being myself there and trying to think things through. People.Me. God.
There's just too much of thoughts that I need to arrange myself properly before I start another week of the same routine again.
Realizing that it's not easy at all to make sure that everyone is ok and that they are taken care of. some just felt like breaking down, some people are always saying they are ok, and some are always happy. And me, I try to be there for each one but I felt so unequipped and lacked that I felt like I didn't give my all. I felt so helpless. I want to be there, and I want to let them know that I care. but I didn't.
But, well, I know that I have Him, and I know I can be rest assured in Him.
Looking forward for home. I need it.
It has taken a toll on me and this previous week was too much of people around me that I decided to go on an alone trip to the mall. Just being myself there and trying to think things through. People.Me. God.
There's just too much of thoughts that I need to arrange myself properly before I start another week of the same routine again.
Realizing that it's not easy at all to make sure that everyone is ok and that they are taken care of. some just felt like breaking down, some people are always saying they are ok, and some are always happy. And me, I try to be there for each one but I felt so unequipped and lacked that I felt like I didn't give my all. I felt so helpless. I want to be there, and I want to let them know that I care. but I didn't.
But, well, I know that I have Him, and I know I can be rest assured in Him.
Looking forward for home. I need it.
- Monday, October 28, 2013
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joy . happy . who am I . Found in Christ
God has been teaching me these throughout the week from different people and places. Something that really make me to think, and something that challenges what is me and what is IN me.
joy and happy.
I learned that it's not the same. Joy comes from a deep and lasting fulfillment in Christ. but being happy is just a short term emotion that is caused by the environment. It is external. Sometimes can be faked. Joy come from His strength, and knowing that though situations might not be always good and bright, but there's still joy in us, because He is in us, giving us that joy giving strength to go on and on. Do I have joy today? I asked myself. Well, probably I can say that I am still in the process of it,because there's just so much more that God has install for me, but I never tapped into that promises. And probably that is the root to the fruitless self. Do you have the joy?
who am I?
identity crisis? hm. God has been making me to think about this question over and over again. Partly, because I am sharing about this topic in my CG. It was tough to share it, if you yourself is not convinced about who you are and what you are. It challenges me to think deep and be convicted that indeed, I am simply God's beloved child. As a Christian for probably whole of my life, I thought I knew who I am as His child because well, the church, bible, etc has been teaching it and I just received it based on head knowledge and for the sake of listening but never really hit me like hard hit until now. Knowing just how awesome to be called GOD'S CHILD is simply just MIND BLOWING. ahh.*screams*
Do you know how much power you have in you? Do you know how much crazy awesome our life can be as His child? Do you know what privileges He has given to you just because you are now a part of His family?
I heard this illustration by the speaker on Friday during CF.you know it's like you live in daddy's house, you know as his daughter, and bearing his surname, you can just go in and out of the house. you can drink and eat freely because you know who you are in the house. you are a part of the family. But this privilege excludes outsiders, those who aren't the family. strangers can't simply come into the house without permission or they will be trespassing. it is just like that in God's kingdom. To be in His family, God adopted me as His child, and now, I can have the authority and privileges that non-family won't get to experience.
Knowing this truth is important, because missing it means missing A WHOLE LOT of things that God has for you and you will live a non fulfilled life, and life lacking assurance from Him.If we don't know who we are in Christ, our faith will be crippled.
found in Christ
imagine you are a slip of crumpled paper, all messed up and ugly. but once you are put in between the pages of a book what do you see? nothing, but only the book.it's the same concept. being found in Christ means being hidden in Him! my flaws and ugliness is no more, but all you see is Him.
Most people define them self and thought they know who they are, by the things that they do, and by the things they thought they know best. without it, they will die kind of thing (lol!) But, just imagine it being stripped away from them, no, they won't die but there will such a big emptiness and "lostlesness" in their life. They will be clueless of what's next? A painter is not just a person who paints a beautiful picture but in reality, that painter is someone loved by God. that painter is just good at painting but it actually don't define him. there's more than the paint brushes and colours he paints his pictures with.
found in Christ, there's so much more to it than this. and there's still a long journey of discovering Him and my life in Him. Am I found in Him? or I just want to be found somewhere else?
A time of so much of reflection that walking back from classes and even going around Penang for jalan-jalan today makes it more meaningful. So much to know, so much to discover, so much to understand. I need God's wisdom. =)
stay blessed.
- Saturday, October 26, 2013
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sometimes I wonder how people can be so real and true to strangers, their friends about there deepest and darkest secrets. I,myself is not someone like that who is able to totally share out my feelings. I wonder if I am normal or not. I remember once when I cried to God to help me to be normal like others. It's not that I'm really that abnormal or what, but just trying to find a secure place to rant out and be who I am without actually hiding my fears, failures, happiness and joy.
it's hard.
but somehow, God is so real and true that He has always been my secret keeper and my hiding place. When times of loneliness, it is Him whom I find my refuge and totally be naked in front of Him. He is my bestest of friends. Even my closest friends, my family don't know the struggles I had inside me because I just don't know how to share it out. my insecurities, and thoughts, doubts. He never actually replied me in audible voice to calm the raging storms inside me but I know that He is there, in the storm with me. When I go for a walk alone, I know that He is there, walking beside me. I know that there's some people whom their fear is being lonely. I wonder why. I, in particularly, enjoyed my lonely walks. Just because I can just have my small talks with Jesus. I won't talk it loud to Him,though, but just thinking out loud. He hears my thoughts. =) And coming out of it, I am refreshed and felt His peace in me. Christ is enough for me.
Just lately, there's are lot of thoughts in my mind about God. and well, there's so much truth and reality in Him. sometimes things that I can't answer, I didn't really think much, but just having faith in Him because whose mind can fathom how great is this God?
=)
just afternoon small thoughts.
it's hard.
but somehow, God is so real and true that He has always been my secret keeper and my hiding place. When times of loneliness, it is Him whom I find my refuge and totally be naked in front of Him. He is my bestest of friends. Even my closest friends, my family don't know the struggles I had inside me because I just don't know how to share it out. my insecurities, and thoughts, doubts. He never actually replied me in audible voice to calm the raging storms inside me but I know that He is there, in the storm with me. When I go for a walk alone, I know that He is there, walking beside me. I know that there's some people whom their fear is being lonely. I wonder why. I, in particularly, enjoyed my lonely walks. Just because I can just have my small talks with Jesus. I won't talk it loud to Him,though, but just thinking out loud. He hears my thoughts. =) And coming out of it, I am refreshed and felt His peace in me. Christ is enough for me.
Just lately, there's are lot of thoughts in my mind about God. and well, there's so much truth and reality in Him. sometimes things that I can't answer, I didn't really think much, but just having faith in Him because whose mind can fathom how great is this God?
=)
just afternoon small thoughts.
- Saturday, October 19, 2013
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Realized that my laptop has been kinda slow these days. Don't know why, probably too much stuff inside. Well, I just found out that my this faithful lappie has been serving me for more than 5 years. And ohhh...I am still loving it.. I found out that when other people uses my laptop, she will suddenly lagged or something wrong will go wrong with it but she always serves me happily. lol.
Ah well, nothing can replace you. You are my first and hopefully, I will never have to replace you because how much you have gone through with me. STPM, my first years in uni and hopefully able to graduate with you too.
So, don't buat hal and be nice to me ok ?
=)
Thanks lappie! your master loves you much.
#there's an expiry to everything but there's no expiry date in God
Ah well, nothing can replace you. You are my first and hopefully, I will never have to replace you because how much you have gone through with me. STPM, my first years in uni and hopefully able to graduate with you too.
So, don't buat hal and be nice to me ok ?
=)
Thanks lappie! your master loves you much.
#there's an expiry to everything but there's no expiry date in God
- Saturday, October 19, 2013
- 0 Comments
